I’d wager everyone is familiar with the phrase ‘less is more.’
Never has it been more prominent than today.
Personally, I would like to have a lot less:
- Humidity, hurricanes, ice storms, snow days, tornados, flash floods, droughts and heatwaves.
- Mosquitoes, termites, ants, wasps, fleas, ticks, centipedes (who needs 100 legs, anyway?) and bee stings.
- Fireworks, parades, mimes, game shows (especially Wheel of Fortune), and radio DJ’s that don’t know when to stop talking.
- Starbucks, Paul Finebaum, overpaid athletes, fast food, boy bands, Ryan Seacrest, romance novels, Stephen King novels, Law and Order reruns and today’s music (if you can call it that).
- Junk food, junk mail, the TSA, the diet de jour, being asked to ‘press one’ and anything remotely related to any of the Kardashians,
- Selfies, dabbing, humble bragging, clickbait, hashtags, spam, passwords, red tape and red meat.
- Calculus, air quotes, the metric system, neckties, turtlenecks, chokeholds, robocalls, soap operas, traditional opera, cigars, cigarettes, missing socks, American Idol and yes, even American Pickers.
- Rubbernecking, roundabouts, litter, potholes, road construction, speed bumps, toll roads, brake lights on the interstate and the constant amazement that some people can’t be bothered with the use of turn signals.
- The National Basketball Association, Nike, Monday morning quarterbacks, incentive bonuses, pass interference calls, the Pac-12, Major League Baseball, instant replay and John Calipari.
- Kudzu, poison ivy, poison oak, pollen, hay fever, allergies, weeds - not to be confused with the singular, weed - and the legalized use of marijuana in some states but not others.
- ‘I know, right,’ ‘my bad,’ ‘no problem’ and any other phrase used in place of the one that indicates you were raised right.
- Billboards, commercials – particularly that annoying one for LeafFilter, gym memberships, fine print, hidden charges, expired warranties, graffiti, bottled water, rashes, warts, chewing tobacco, warm beer and Zaxby’s.
- Backseat drivers, spitting, coconut, shopping malls, pet clothing, car fresheners, one-ply toilet paper, knock-knock jokes and nose hair.
- Earwax, price gauging, calories, gift wrap, collateral damage, logarithms, pay-per-view and incarceration for victimless crimes.
- Cruelty to animals, tardiness, unsweetened ice tea, Amazon Prime, cardboard shortages (NOT a coincidence), Allen wrenches, waiting, bad hair days, and drivers either under the influence or unable to navigate four-way stops.
- Gossip, waiting, customer disservice, dishonesty, bullying, dress codes, bad manners, making excuses, poor work ethic and disgruntled employees.
- Sales pitches, conference calls, pollution, breaking news that is anything but, lying with statistics (it’s not difficult), iced-over windshields, motion sickness, convenience $tore$ and IKEA.
- Different rules and regulations governing different states, different counties and, in many cases, different cities. Aren’t we all living in the same country?
- Illness. Cancer. Diseases – probably too many to count.
- Politicians telling lies and half-truths, definitely too many too count.
- Racism. Murder. Rape. Drugs. Hate crimes. Child abuse. White supremacy. Police brutality. Active shooters. Human trafficking. Arson.
- Lunacy. Division. Civil unrest. Anarchy. Chaos. Knee-jerk reactions.
- Covid-19. Contagion. Infection. Coronavirus. Quarantine. Lockdown. The calling of the National Guard. More lies, with no end in sight.
- More and more deaths, many that probably could have been prevented if someone had just listened in the first place.
Our country is on the verge of imploding. It’s like sitting on a ticking time bomb.
There’s another phrase most of us are familiar with: ‘stop the world, I want to get off.’
Before now, that’s all it was: a saying. Today, it’s so much more than that.
Scott Ludwig lives, runs and writes in Senoia. His latest book, “Southern Charm” is a collection of his first 101 columns for The Newnan Times-Herald. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org .