Tonight, I am speaking at the Carnegie Library. I will be part of a three-person panel of local writers. Speaking in public is a skill I want to improve on, so I jumped at the chance to be a part of this Hometown Novel Nights.
When I say “tonight,” I mean as of this writing, not as of this printing. By the time you’re reading this column, this month’s Hometown Novel Nights will be in the history books.
I know I’ll be a nervous wreck before it begins. The only other time I remember speaking in front of a large group of people, I was wearing a dress and in full makeup. That was Dragging for Dollars, a fundraiser for the Cancer Treatment Center. I still contend I was robbed of the crown that night, seeing as how I was, by far, the prettiest gal. But I digress.
Tonight, I’m going to be dressed like a guy when I’m talking… as far as they know.
I don’t really know yet what I’m going to talk about. I know I’m going to talk about what it’s like writing for the paper. I don’t know how many minutes I can stretch “I never know what I’m going to write about until about an hour after my deadline,” but that sums up my columns pretty well.
Since I’m going to be speaking on the fly, I have no idea what questions may be asked of me, assuming there is a question and answer portion. I have a few answers already prepared, for the questions I figure I’ll be asked. Those questions are as follows:
“Mr. Nix, what’s it feel like to be the greatest literary brain of our, nay, of all time?”
“Mr. Nix, are you as angry as I, a complete stranger whom you have never met, am about you not being on the New York Time’s Best Seller list?”
“Mr. Nix, do you ever tire of being confused with Brad Pitt, or that guy who plays Aquaman, when you’re out in public with your family?”
For the life of me, I can’t think of many other questions that may be asked of me. I guess I’ll pretend like I can’t hear the question if anyone goes off-script and asks something I’m not expecting.
Speaking of questions and scripts, I sure hope my wife shows up to this event tonight.
Toby Nix is a local writer, guitarist and investigator for the Coweta County Sheriff’s Office. He is the author of two books, “Columns I Wrote” and the newly released “A Book I Wrote.” He can be reached at email@example.com .