The Newnan Times-Herald

Opinion

Guys and dolls duke it out


  • By The Newnan Times-Herald
  • |
  • Aug. 11, 2019 - 1:15 AM

Guys and dolls duke it out

The Newnan Times-Herald

Climate change may be raising sea levels.

It is definitely lowering IQs. At least among a group known as the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA).

The DSA’s motto is “Free Stuff for Everyone.” Beyond that, it's hard to understand what they want. A clue may be offered in a blog post on the DSA website that describes DSA members as “Like-minded people rooted in the prophetic impulse to question all projects of mastery.”

With such a clearly stated goal, how can this bunch fail? Easy. They start talking. The DSA’s collective ignorance was on public display a few days ago when they gathered in Atlanta. 

Some of the remarks sounded like they had been lifted from a “Saturday Night Live” parody. Since it’s impossible to capture the essence of the verbal acrobatics in common English, delegate remarks are quoted verbatim here -- and edited for length -- to give them their full power and uh, whatever.

The show was just minutes old when things got rowdy and a delegate rose to whine.

He began by identifying himself and his favored pronouns saying, “James, he/him.” James then told his fellow delegates, "I just want to say, uh, quick point of personal privilege, um guys. Can we please keep the chatter to the minimum? I'm prone to sensory overload. It's affecting my ability to focus.” 

The chairperson answered, "Thank you, comrade."

It would have ended there, but James’ use of the word “guys” caused another delegate to blow a fuse. The offended party screeched, "Point of personal privilege! Point of personal privilege! Please do not use gendered language to address everyone!"

 If you didn't know, “gendered language “ includes offensive terms such as “him, his, her, hers, girl, boy, male, female,” and in this case, “guys.” 

The term “bull shark” is acceptable since bull sharks are allegedly bisexual, making them gender-neutral. Look it up.

Since it was announced beforehand that ”aggressive scents” were banned from the venue, organizers must have assumed delegates knew better than to use “aggressive words.” Apparently not.

As soon as the first verbal blaze was extinguished another delegate rose to say he/him was near collapse due to "sensory overload and the use of gendered pronouns.”

Here’s what I want to know: Do these people fall apart if they see posters or video ads promoting popular films like “Superman,” “Spiderman” or “Iron Man”? Do they quake in fear if Wonder Woman or Super Girl appear? 

If gender-neutral advocates ever saw Boy George and the Spice Girls on the same stage would their heads explode? 

When things degenerated further, another delegate said the rowdiness was “triggering my anxiety.” 

“Triggered” by language? It’s a good thing this person grew up watching “Beavis and Butthead” instead of “The Roy Rogers Show.”

Roy’s horse was named Trigger. His dog was called Bullet. Roy carried a gun. If he were still around, the Democratic Socialists would probably demand to have Roy Rogers electrocuted with power from a sustainable source. 

And let’s not forget Roy’s wife, Dale Evans, who rode a horse named Buttermilk. You can bet lactose intolerant persons hate her healthy, milk-digesting guts.

Here’s a question: why aren’t these people “triggered” by the word trigger? 

But I digress. 

The Bible says “The poor will be with you always.” The Democratic Socialists are living proof that the clueless are still hanging in there, too. 

Alex McRae is the author of There Ain’t No Gentle Cycle on the Washing Machine of Love. He can be reached at: alexmmcrae@gmail.com .