The Newnan Times-Herald

Opinion

Ask Miss Pearl


  • By The Newnan Times-Herald
  • |
  • Apr. 14, 2019 - 12:59 AM

Ask Miss Pearl

The Newnan Times-Herald

Dear Miss Pearl,

A friend of mine said she saw you chewing gum in church. You always talk about how important it is to set a good example. You should be ashamed of yourself!

You are correct on both counts. HOWEVER, since you have embarrassed me in front of the entire world, let me remind you that sometimes there are exceptions. You see, I have a tic – a physical phenomenon that I have very little control over. My tic is in my legs and, unfortunately, shows up whenever and wherever I am sitting down. My tic does not care if I am in church, having tea with the Queen, or waiting with Mutha of Pearl to see Dr. Urologist!! I wish I had a nickel for every time my Mama, Big, Little, Baby or my friends have tapped me on the leg to let me know that I am about to bounce them out of their seat. I would be a gajillionaire, yes, I would! So why do I sometimes chew gum – in church, of all places? Simply put, because chewing gum – talking, eating, singing, reading, etc. – engages my brain so that I don’t wiggle. I don’t know why some days are worse than others. I feel sure that nerves, hunger, whether or not my SEC Powerhouse team has won or lost, and, yes, people like YOU have a little something to do with it. I am not proud of the fact that there are many Sundays that I sit at the piano at FUMC and chew gum in front of God, the saints and my church family. Can you imagine the chaos if I bounced myself off of the bench? People might think my Baptist upbringing was showing up!

I feel sure there is a lesson in all of this – there might even be a sermon. Imagine THAT! We are all guilty of passing judgment on others. It’s a way of life and makes us feel better about ourselves. It’s one thing to talk about others because of poor choices they (we) make … a tacky outfit, drinking too much, dye jobs, putting olives in their deviled eggs, etc. … these are, after all, CHOICES that people make. Let’s not be so quick to judge and talk ugly about others for things that they have no control over.

I promise to do better with practicing what I preach if you promise to remove yourself from the pedestal of perfection that you are sitting on! Have a nice day!!

And Another Thing...

I saw a “fender bender” in the round-a-bout on Lower Fayetteville and Greison Trail today. I can’t imagine how that happened… said no one ever!!

Miss Pearl is one of Newnan's leading authorities on modern etiquette. She gladly lends her advice to everyone whether they want it or not, because, "After all, it's all about the children and setting a good example for them." Her videos are available on her Facebook page and YouTube channel. She can be reached at misspearl678@gmail.com .