Dear Miss Pearl,
Two of the last three weddings I have attended were held at a venue, not a church! I think this is a disgrace to the sacred vows of matrimony. Don't you agree?
I prefer a wedding ceremony to be held in a church but it is really none of my business where the ceremony takes place. And guess what? It is none of your business either! There are hundreds of reasons why a couple may choose a venue over a church; the most important thing to me is that they truly love each other and that they are marrying for the right reasons. Wedding venues are very popular and many of them are quite lovely. You must not have been too "disgraced" since you attended the weddings held at the venues. Surely you had a wonderful time and helped yourself to an extra piece of cake, right? Yes, I would like for Little and Baby to get married in a church. The speed in which they are going, however, leads me to believe that I am going to keep my mouth shut when the time comes. Oh, hell, I just put that in writing, didn't I?
Dear Miss Pearl,
Some of my friends are allowed to text their thank you notes for graduation gifts they have received. My parents won't let me do that and are insisting that I write them. Isn't this the point of having all of this technology to communicate with each other?
I pray you are pulling my leg about texting a thank you note because doing so goes against all that is sacred and proper in this world! NO, you absolutely can NOT text, email, Facebook message, Instagram or Snapchat a thank you note. EVER! The term "note" tells you that it is intended to be written on stationary – preferably monogrammed. There are no exceptions to this rule and you will be a much better person for doing it the correct way. I applaud your parents for insisting you do this properly and, yes, this includes YOU addressing the envelopes yourself. Those other parents need to have their parent card pulled – and their heads examined. You and your handwritten notes will end up smelling like a rose while your texting friends will end up smelling like something one might step in at the dog park!
And Another Thing...
My friends, cars have blinkers for a reason. They are not optional, therefore taking away the anxiety of whether or not you should use it. Blinkers have a purpose! Yes, they are convenient for hanging your car deodorizer and gym membership on but these are simply fringe benefits. Using the blinker is one of the ways we communicate with other drivers, and by using our blinkers we practice our manners and common courtesies with them – not to mention setting a good example. I wonder how many accidents occur due to someone not using their blinker? Actions speak louder than words so let's all remember to use our blinkers. Don't make me call you out, don't make me call your Mama and don't make me use sign language!
Miss Pearl is one of Newnan's leading authorities on modern etiquette. She gladly lends her advice to everyone whether they want it or not, because, "After all, it's all about the children and setting a good example for them." Her videos are available on her Facebook page, and she can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org .