Dear Miss Pearl,
My husband always asks me what I want for Christmas, so I always know what I am getting. Last year I asked him to surprise me and I get a gift card to Target. My adult children always give me thoughtful presents, why can't my husband?
Are y'all still married? Are you speaking to him?
Seriously though, do you know how many women would love for their husbands to ask them what they wanted for Christmas? Think of all of those who have to fake excitement over the fuzzy robe with matching slippers (that don't fit). And what about the wives who get a new chainsaw because that is what their husband wants?
Let me ask you something. Do you give your husband thoughtful gifts or do you give him the same subscription to Popular Mechanics and some new tube socks? Why don't you suggest giving each other something that you both could enjoy?
A trip would be fun, maybe tickets to a Rod Stewart concert, or possibly some couples’ therapy! Perhaps you should simply TELL HIM how you feel about his gifting skills and explain to him how he can remedy this behavior.
I guarantee you he is CLUELESS!
Dear Miss Pearl,
Every year I wear myself out getting my house decorated, buying and wrapping gifts, and cooking all the fun holiday food for my family. I swear that by the time Christmas is here I have lost my religion and my joyful spirit. Do you have any suggestions that might help?
Girlfriend, you are preaching to the choir!
I would suggest paying a high schooler to wrap your presents for you, but if you are like me you tend to micromanage and that is not a good combination.
I am currently experimenting with the "every other year" plan: last year I cut back on decorating (do we really need all 536 nut crackers on display?) and this helped my stress level greatly.
It is also possible that SOME of my gifts were in cute Christmas bags instead of being wrapped (I realize I am pushing the envelope here). And instead of making 15 different desserts I only made 7. And guess what? No one complained (at least not to my face).
I'm thinking the gift bags and limiting desserts just might become a new tradition for me because I was much happier and able to enjoy my family. However, I am going to put a few more of the nut crackers out this year just so I can tell myself I did more this year than last.
And if Little and Baby want to know why all of them aren't out, I am going to remind them that they know how to get to the attic and to feel free to bring them down AND strategically place them!
And another thing…
I can't help but notice how many people do not say "thank you" when they really should. Let me remind everyone that we are not entitled to have a door held open for us by a stranger…
We need to say "thank you" when this occurs. And if someone politely and discreetly tells you that you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants, don't get mad and have an attitude, be glad you were told and say "thank you.”
I can't think of a sincere situation where saying "thank you" would be offensive (even though I am sure someone, somewhere, probably is… but they weren't raised right!). We all need to remember that it really is about the children and setting a good example for them.
Miss Pearl is one of Newnan's leading authorities on modern etiquette. She gladly lends her advice to everyone whether they want it or not, because, "After all, it's all about the children and setting a good example for them." Her videos are available on her Facebook page, and she can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org