The Newnan Times-Herald

Opinion

Ask Miss Pearl


  • By The Newnan Times-Herald
  • |
  • Nov. 05, 2017 - 7:59 AM

Ask Miss Pearl

The Newnan Times-Herald

Miss Pearl is one of Newnan's leading authorities on modern etiquette.

Dear Miss Pearl,

A particular someone in my neighborhood walks their dog (without a leash), lets it poop in my yard and doesn't pick up the poop. I have watched this happen on more than one occasion. I'm about to let this dog owner have a piece of my mind!! What would you do?

Take a deep breath and listen to Miss Pearl. My Grandma was quick to remind me that you could catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. 

I suggest you speak to this rude individual (use your nice voice) and tell them you are thrilled that their dog feels comfortable enough to poop in your yard. HOWEVER, you should insist that the poop be removed from your pristine yard. 

You might also want to mention that there IS a leash law; surely this will make an impression (I love a veiled threat). 

Should the dog continue to leave poop in your yard I suggest one or two things: 1.) return the poop to the dog owner's yard, driveway, front porch... Or 2.) make a nice pie as a peace offering (I trust you have read “The Help”)!


Dear Miss Pearl,

I thought Halloween was for children, not adults! Where do all of these people come from? Are they bussed in from Heard County? Is it OK if next year I put a sign up that says "Candy is for CHILDREN 14 and under!"? And would asking that they be from Coweta County be too much?

Why does it matter to you if these precious children are from out of town? You either want to participate or you don't. 

My concern is that your sign may bring some unwanted attention to your lovely home. You may wake up to a rolled yard, eggs all over your car, and/or a missing mailbox! People are, unfortunately, easily offended these days, and there ARE some 12-year-olds who look like young adults. 

What are you going to do, ask for a birth certificate? Let's be reasonable! Most of the young (age-appropriate) children do their trick-or-treating early. 

As soon as the adults with trash bags and pillowcases start showing up, you should just go inside and turn off all of your lights. You could even leave a bowl of candy on the front porch with a note explaining your absence due to a family emergency. 

The first person is going to take all of the candy, but at least you can sleep soundly and won't be OFFENDING anyone! While you’re at it, I just saw some witch costumes on sale!

And another thing....

Now that Halloween is behind us, I feel that this is a good time to remind everyone that our next holiday is Thanksgiving, NOT Christmas. 

Just because retailers are bombarding us with everything Christmas doesn't mean we should skip our appreciation of the Pilgrims and the Indians. 

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you are the only person not finished with your Christmas shopping… you aren't. Most people, in fact, haven't even started. 

Take time to be thankful, and maybe cut back on the sweets the next few weeks. Guilt-free eating is the BEST!

******

Miss Pearl is one of Newnan's leading authorities on modern etiquette. She gladly lends her advice to everyone whether they want it or not, because, "After all, it's all about the children and setting a good example for them." Her videos are available on her Facebook page, and she can be reached at misspearl678@gmail.com