The Newnan Times-Herald

Opinion

Fat and sassy


  • By The Newnan Times-Herald
  • |
  • May. 20, 2017 - 6:00 AM

My wife, Angela, and I just got back from the beach. We had a great time. Maybe because we never turned on the TV. We didn’t miss it.

That’s the great thing about a trip to the beach—there’s always something to do other than watch politicians point fingers at each other on TV.

I like to sit and watch the Gulf of Mexico and wonder how many things swimming below the surface could kill me.

Angela focuses on cultural activities, including shopping at anyplace other than Alvin’s Island, a so-called “tropical department store” that sells tons of cheap trinkets and T-shirts to tourists.

She found some jewelry she liked, a book about Florida Panhandle history and a magazine she hadn’t seen before.  

It’s called Gulfshore Life. As soon as I noticed it didn't have a story about the Flora-Bama lounge (just a few steps from our condo) or Alvin’s Island, I figured it focused on an area other than the Redneck Riviera.

I was right. Gulfshore Life is aimed mostly at Floridians living between Tampa and Marco Island, which is the last stop before the Everglades.

Gulfshore Life overflowed with ads for every cosmetic surgeon, hotel, real estate agent and attorney within 20 miles of a sand dune.

It had fun stuff, too, including a snippet about the meal at a charity fundraiser. The story claimed that, “the meal’s sweet ending—a chocolate mousse—arrived tableside on the head of a kneeling waiter.”

The magazine also had a story about a doctor whose motto is, “Fat is your friend.”

Who wouldn’t read that?

The story was written by Dorothea Hunter Sonne, the magazine’s food and wine editor. Dorothea interviewed Dr. David Perlmutter, who works in Naples, Fla. Dr. Perlmutter is a board-certified neurologist. He’s also a fellow of the American College of Nutrition and has spent much of his career studying how different foods affect your brain.

He thinks people should eat fats, vegetables and probiotics, whatever those are. He despises carbs and sugars and isn’t shy about saying so.

Dorothea thought it would be fun to join Dr. Perlmutter for three meals and let him critique her food choices.

They first met for brunch. Perlmutter blanched when Dorothea ordered a sensible Southern breakfast of fried chicken and waffles with a gallon of maple syrup on the side. Perlmutter looked at the meal and said a lot of big words that basically meant, “That’ll kill you.”

The doctor ordered an omelette with spinach and feta cheese. No toast, hash browns or biscuits. He asked that the spinach for his omelet be sauteed in organic olive oil.

Perlmutter loves olive oil and says it is very healthy, a so-called “good fat.” Good fats are found in foods like olive oil, avocados and walnuts. The good fats list does not include two of my favorites—lard and mayonnaise.

The pair's other two meals followed a similar pattern. It was a fun read.

I’m all for fat, so I might even like Perlmutter’s diet. But I won’t be putting olive oil on my grits. That’s not only un-Southern, it’s un-Biblical. Speaking of Biblical, Perlmutter hates bread in general and says everyone should avoid it.

Perlmutter may know his stuff, but I know this—the Lord's Prayer says “Give us this day our daily bread,” not “Give us our daily avocado and olive oil smoothie.”

Plus, Jesus ate bread. If it’s good enough for Jesus, well …

When I finished the article I made a sandwich and went outside to look for sharks. Maybe carbs can kill you, but If I die at the beach it’s not gonna be because I ate a biscuit.

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